Confidence and the Tongue

In the film, The King’s Speech, the soon-to-be king is plagued with an embarrassing speech impediment. It is revealed through the film, that much of his handicap is a result of insecurity and the harsh criticism received from his family (which reinforced his behavior). When he was asked by his speech therapist to read out-loud while listening to music through a headset, he delivered his message flawlessly because he could not hear himself speaking.

Studies show that one of the greatest fears people struggle with is public speaking. I can relate, as stage fright has been a mountainthat God has called me to climb. Countless times I have stood in the wings with cold clammy hands and debilitating anxiety, silently whispering to God, “I just can’t do this!”  Yet, over the years I have walked to the microphone (kicking and screaming), despite my fears. As the saying goes, I have
“done it afraid,” and God has always shown up.

Though the struggles are not the same today, I am still challenged with elements of fear when called to do something that is unfamiliar. It is so much easier to hide behind my writing or a studio microphone than to face an audience. What has compelled me to get out of my comfort zone is knowing that God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind (II Timothy 1:7).  If fear is not of God, then I want no part of it, nor do I want to be in its grasp.

Yet even now, when I am called to share with others, my tongue sometimes becomes tied, just like the king’s. As soon as I begin to over-think the process or remember criticisms, the “um’s” and the “so’s” come fumbling out, and I find myself less willing to speak than
ever before. What compels me to continue is knowing that if I dwell in my mistakes,
like the king did, I will miss all the opportunities God has set before me to speak on His behalf.

As we know, the enemy is resourceful in calling failures to our attention. He did not earn the title of “accuser” for nothing. He is faithful in his efforts to convince us that we
are inadequate or ineffective. By allowing Him any authority at all, He can impede our
confidence and thus tie our tongues.

After many years in ministry, I have learned that perfection is a standard I cannot attain
and thus not everyone is going to like what I say, sing, how I sound, or what I write. I
can accept this. What I cannot accept is leaving this life knowing that I gave up. As Thoreau
said so perfectly, “Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them.” For me, this quote stirs a deep conviction to live fully and with the utmost of passion.  The king focused intently on his failures, butScripture tells me that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. It tells me when I am weak, He is strong, and it tells me that I have been SAVED to PROCLAIM Him! Therefore, how can
I sit and be bound by fear and insecurity?

Much of what drives my fear, to be quite honest, is my own pride. Pride does not want me to be a loser, a failure, disliked, or inadequate. Pride does not want me to learn from my mistakes; instead, it is mortified that I made them at all. If I do not try, there is no risk
of failure or embarrassment. This is the reason, I believe, most of us are terrified of public speaking. We are concerned with what people think. Thus, many sit silent going to their graves with a song (or a speech) still in them. As I come to better understand WHOSE I AM and WHO sends me, I can be confident in the knowledge that God’s strength will see me through any divine appointment.

Come To The Well

I just found out that Casting Crowns is releasing a CD titled, “Come To The Well” and they are calling their upcoming tour the “Come To The Well” Tour.  Just to be clear, they did not take my song or title (I certainly hope not anyway), but they did show me that I need to trust in the ideas God provides.   Interestingly, I had even hoped for a “Come To The Well” tour of my own back in 2008 when the CD came out, but I thought the idea was silly. Haha! My friend told me today, “You wouldn’t go do it, so God gave it to someone else to do.” My lesson….trust in what God gives you to share and respond with the utmost of confidence. Other lesson,  God is again reminding people to come to Him (the living water) instead of choosing alternatives.  Very exciting if you think about it. Until next time, MJ

Remembering Belgium

PS09_11-MaryJamesBelgium
To view the Power Source Article scheduled for release in September.  Please click on the link above.

In Donald Miller’s book, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years, he says that, “The ambitions we have will become the stories we live.”  From Kay Arthur to Ricky Skaggs, the believing family live what I deem to be remarkable stories.  Each have a different beginning, middle and ending, but nevertheless, these are lives authored by the Master of the Universe and are intended for a divine purpose.  As a result of their obedience and thoughtful participation with the Lord, they have and continue to make a stunning mark on mankind.  When He is your ambition, the story will always end with victory.

I share this because my ambitions were mine alone for many years, but now that I am journeying with the Savior, He is writing a much more intriguing and rewarding story.  He is taking me to places that I never deemed possible, the latest being to the French-speaking region of Belgium.

Conversations between the Shadow Mountain Community Church Missions Department and its Belgian missionary, Eric Zander, generated an idea to send my band and I to Belgium for a series of outreach concerts.   The goal was not a church tour, but a tour that would reach into Gembloux and its neighboring villages.   Eric, known for his “out-of-the box” approach to evangelism, asked his congregation to host a series of house concerts.  By volunteering to host a concert, the people would be required to invite their friends, neighbors, and co-workers.   For most, it was the first time they had ever disclosed that they were Christians.  The local people were intrigued by the fact that an American Christian Country band was coming to their town and much to our surprise many of the concerts were standing room only. 

It has been years since I traveled to Europe, so my travel savvy was a bit weak.   Fortunately, a good friend of mine who used to fly for American Airlines walked me through the International flight do’s and don’ts.   He did not warn me, however, about the leg room on a Boeing 777 and my knees hit the seat in front of me before it was ever reclined.  This should dispel any thoughts of this being a glamorous travel experience. 

We arrived in Belgium at around 7:30 a.m. and literally hit the ground running, with 15 concerts booked in our nine-day visit.  As I mentioned, many were house concerts, but other events were also included in the tour; all intended to reach the un-churched community.  Each concert setting was different and Eric advised me prior to each event of what I could and could not say as far as my testimony was concerned.  Sometimes he would interpret and sometimes not, but his continual goal was that my words and massage were not rehearsed or forced in any way.  

Throughout the tour, the band and I witnessed the spirit of God fall upon audience after audience transcending the language barrier. I shared how Jesus changed my life and the music was the exclamation point.   Teary eyes and broken hearts were abundant.  All I could think was, “These dear souls know of Jesus, but they do not know Him.  Every village has a big beautiful, but EMPTY Catholic Church.  They have statues, crucifixes and chapels nestled as memorials throughout their villages……they have Jesus on the outside, but they do not have Him on the inside.”

At one of the house concerts, a deep conversation ensued between the hosts and Eric regarding the difference between religion and faith.  Eric explained that religion is external, but faith comes from within.  Referring to me they said, “Yes, we can see that it comes from within her.”  These experiences gave me a deeper understanding of the scripture in Matthew 5:16 that says, “Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.”  How often I have taken my freedom of speech and expression for granted, missing the opportunity to let others see Him?     

Our concerts were often greeted by a bit of skepticism.  The audiences knew we were a Christian Country band and it seemed that many had come more out of curiosity than anything.  “Why would a band from America come here?“ they asked.  Not to mention the fact that we had a brilliant team of players: Bob Sale (Drums), Jim Soldi (Lead Guitar / formerly with Johnny Cash and Ricky Skaggs), Dan Barker (Acoustic Guitar) and Mark Salsac (a God-send Bass player and one of our hosts from Belgium).   We played the classics, some Johnny Cash, Come to the Well, Flowers Angels and Jesus, and as the concert worn on and trust was earned, I shared how I had come to place all my trust and hope in Jesus.  I explained that it was through my brokenness that He has made my life right again.

We recently went to Kansas for various ministry opportunities, and at the end of one of the concerts an eight-year old girl told me that she wanted to give her heart to Jesus.  I had shared a song called “Broken Things,” which I sang almost every day in Belgium, and in that experience God reminded me that to enter the kingdom of heaven you must be like a little child.   It does not take anything other than a loving touch from the Father and a willing, pride-less heart to receive Him. 

Realizing that I can make sharing the Gospel far more complicated than it is, I am coming to understand that, “the joy of the Lord is indeed my strength”.  In other words, His love, joy and peace shining from within me is the strongest and most tangible tool I have to share Him with the world.  God taught me this through the people in Belgium and through the little girl in Kansas.  

I would be remiss if I failed to mention some of the other Belgian highlights that we so abundantly enjoyed.   Because we stayed in host homes we were able to experience how the Belgian people lived.   My host home had crowing roosters at 5:00 a.m. each day, who provided eggs daily and an occasional chicken dinner to the family.  The Belgian people are gracious and kind and their French-speaking children will steal your heart.  They love good food and are interestingly the originators of the French fry or Frittas.  Of course there is the Belgian chocolate, waffles of every variety and their strawberries are seriously the sweetest I have ever eaten. Bakeries loaded with fresh breads and pastries are found in every village.  The buildings are marked with the year they were built and in some cases roadways built by the Romans remain in-tact. The landscapes are lush and green, with cows, wheat fields and frequent splashes of their native deep orange poppies along the roadways.  Castles are found on hillsides and around unassuming corners, but were off-limits to the public because most are still occupied.  We visited an active Abbey with Monks who make Belgian beer, cheese and pottery and another that is in ruins called the Villers Abbey.  My highlight, however, was the storybook Bruges.  It is known as the Venice of Belgium and rightfully so, as we walked the cobblestone streets, saw women making lace and soaked in the absolute enchantment of the town.  Swans, horse-drawn carriages, cafes, art galleries, canal boats, chocolate shops and flowers adorned the streets.  Oh yes, the flowers!  Belgians love their window boxes and gardens.  Garden shops are abundant and the flower boxes set against the old brick buildings paint the classic European image that many of us have come to know and love.   

When I reflect upon all these things, I realize that all the food, education and beauty in the world cannot fill the God-shaped hole inside of us, no matter where you live.  The one thing that will totally satisfy us is consistent among every man, woman and child across this great earth.   Many differences can be cited from country to country, the languages we speak, what we eat and the color of our skin, but at our core we are the same…totally empty without Christ.  

What a privilege to be part of the Masters plan to lead his sheep homeward.   Belgium was magical visually, but spiritually it transcended all expectations because I was essentially handicapped.  After our last concert, Eric told me that he has arranged hundreds of outreach events, but had never reached so many people (who would never set foot in a church) with the Gospel.   You have heard the saying before, “God does not want our ability, but our availability.”  This could not be truer when called to minister to people who do not speak your language.  Fortunately, God’s language is universal and though He has given us His word through scripture, He continues to write story after story of His ongoing effort to reach mankind.

Behind Barbed Wire

I could not stop staring at the coiled barbed wire that lined the top of the chain-link fencing. That is what the women of Las Colinas Women’s Detention center look at every day. When they brought us through the hallways, the women had to face the wall and not dare budge while we passed through. It reminded me of children in school who were once disciplined by time outs in the corner of the classroom while facing the wall. All that was missing was the dunce cap, although the prison uniforms with the big black letters, “SD Jail” stamped on the back came very close.

For days on end I kept asking myself, how is it that a woman can fall so far? Something seems amiss when a woman is living out her years behind bars. I have learned that 31% of women in prison have been sexually abused. Makes perfect sense….self worth was robbed away at childhood and it has not been regained.

Every ounce of me wanted to sit with these women for hours until they turned their lives over to Jesus. Yet, I only had 20 minutes per group we visited. At one of the stops, the women were not behind the fencing. I accidentally left Dan’s guitar case behind and had to run back to pick it up. Upon my return, I was greeted by three women who had tears streaming down their faces and begged me for a hug. I had forgotten that I was forbidden to touch them and did not think twice about their request. Hugging is not permitted because inmates are known to steal things off of you or your clothing without you even realizing it. I am so naive that I would have never dreamed that the motive of theft could be disguised beneath tears and a brief moment of human need.

Jesus would be able to read the minds of each woman, understanding every intricacy of her life, and she would know without question that she was in the presence of God. The meeting would change her life. Scripture tells us that we are called to a ministry of reconciliation, as a result of our own encounter with the Savior (1 Corinthians 5: 17-18). The woman at the well was living in denial and Jesus simply used truth. He saw through her facade, yet by taking the time to speak to her, she knew with absolute certainty that she was valued and loved. An act of kindness paired with words of truth changed a life and impacted a community.

Sin has a way of being contagious/blinding and many of these precious women have been abused so long that they know how to do nothing other than abuse either themselves or the society that does not defend them.  I heard Kay Arthur say recently, “Sin takes you farther than you ever wanted to go and costs you more than you ever wanted to pay.” God promises that He will give us a way out of a sin situation, but some push beyond the borders and enter a territory that eventually reduces them to wearing a suit that labels them as something God never created them to be.

The fences that some of us live behind and the labels we wear can be manifested in many shapes and sizes.  The good news is that God will send His Son to meet you where you are; to rattle your cage and remove the scales from your eyes. He will come, be assured. When He does, He will sing and speak into your life to let you know that those chains do not have to be permanent.  You must then decide what you will do with your divine appointment with Jesus.

From the Barn to the Ballroom

The title “From the Barn to the Ballroom” came to me a few months ago and I believe that it speaks perfectly to what we are doing in ministry.  Truly, one week we may be at a Cowboy Church and the next at a Country Club.  The wonderful thing is that the music and message of God’s grace is not reserved for a particular setting or people group.  In fact, it is borderless.   Isn’t this true of our God?  Jesus was born in a stable, but stepped down from the glory and grandeur of heaven.  Borderless.  Priest and paupers, children and elders, God’s message of love and redemption is for all.  No temptation is uncommon to man, no matter how you dress it up.  I am looking forward to this blog which will share specific ministry experiences with you and the amazing work God is doing.  

Most recently, I was at a church where they are active in reaching out to the homeless.    A homeless gentlemen grabbed my heart as he brought me several very,very old hymn books to use.  It just so happens that I am looking for new songs right now, but he did not know that.  Many of the titles are unfamiliar, but I believe there is a great song waiting to be recorded amongst those tattered pages.  This precious man has lived on the streets for 8 years now, yet he took the time to share.  He was dressed for the barn, but his heart was wearing a tux!

Worship Him or Follow Him?

I have been in another one of those seasons of disappointments. Though many good things are happening, it often seems like the bad outweighs the positive. My prayers are thirsty for answers and the waiting seems like an eternity.  My pastor, Dr. Jeremiah recently reminded me of the parallels between my own life and the Israelites.  He said that, “We can trust God with eternity, but we can’t seem to trust Him with next week.” To the core, I can relate to this human struggle. My husband Dan and I talked about this and said what makes it even harder is when we work so hard to do the right thing, give and serve and watch those who do nothing have the all they desire handed to them on a silver platter. That is the perception indeed, but is it reality? Deep down, in my heart, I know the answer and I know that God has a very different economy for those who follow Him. Jesus instructed the disciples not to take things from people, as it would distract them from their eternal charge. Creature comforts were just not part of their employee benefits package and fame was reserved for the Creator. This strange dynamic remains today with those of us who reach for that “abandoned” level of service to our Lord. The flesh yearns for fame, stature, financial comfort and ease; yet our feet remain filthy, our pockets with just enough change to buy the day’s meal and our faith, well, it certainly can be shaken. 

There is this welling up inside of me that may one day, like a massive geyser, cry out to people……..what are you really sacrificing for the kingdom, what? Countless times, I have heard people speak of their missions as they sip on a cold lemonade from the edge of their swimming pools. I have petitioned on behalf of children who are dying from starvation only to hear that people cannot afford the effort at the present time. Then I watch everyone go home at the end of the night to their newer cars, warm homes and HD TV’s. Once again, the opportunity for abandoned love is lost and instead personal fulfillment is satisfied in the material.  I know, I know, this sounds really judgemental, so let’s just say this is for my own edification, as I too own and enjoy an HD TV. 

In the midst of my grief and discouragement, I am led back to thanks by the Holy Spirit, because He continues to force the cause in my heart to avoid these trappings. Like the wind, I come and go, in and out of a deeper understanding of the Christian life and its overwhelming ache. At the end of the day, after all the disappointment has raged it’s war in my heart, I end up back at the cross. Looking upon the ultimate giver and lover of souls, once again to witness the disappointment in His human life. Such a sight, puts air back into my lungs enabling me to carry on and His love covers the rest.

Behind my discouragement grows a stronger passion to serve our Creator in a new way. In January, I saw a play called “Glory Man” that is about the life of Clarence Jordan and investor Millard Fuller who founded Habitat for Humanity. In a closing scene, Clarence spoke to a church who had just placed a neon cross atop the church building. He said, “You spend all your time worshipping Jesus, because you do not want to follow Him.” This was a man who experienced horrible discouragement in His ministry efforts, yet the blessing of Habitat for Humanity sprung from His labor. Clarence’s statement has remained with me, and reminds me of the trust in God that is required when we cannot see “next week.”

Clearly, sorrow is one of the strange blessings that we are given when the scales are removed from our eyes. With sorrow comes concern and without those who truly grieve for others there would be no Cross…..there would be no Habitat for Humanity, there would nothing but swimming pools, HD TV’s and more malls (well, more than there are today). May we all be reminded to stay the course and not grow weary as we earnestly seek to follow Jesus. It wasn’t easy for Him either.

The Love That Heals

Have you discovered the miracle cure yet?   A special ointment that can be administered to heal a broken heart or used to unlock the mysteries of suffering?   Everywhere we turn, there is hurt on one street or the next…..in one hospital room or the next….in one living room or the next.   If you listen intently, or look deep into the eyes of one suffering, you can hear their silent cry, “Where are you God?”  “Why aren’t You here with me?”   

The amazing thing is, He is here.   He has set Himself among us and lives through us.  That is why we are each called to serve and minister to others according to our specific passion.   He knows the voids and places us in them.  It is no different for me; I have my hot buttons!  Certain life struggles stir me more deeply than others, and one that seems to continually break my heart is that of loneliness.

Interestingly, it has been a reoccurring theme in many of the places I have visited. I have heard the topic discussed from the pulpit and I have seen a great number of alter call responses (of all ages) from those who deal with feeling lonely on a daily basis. Mother Teresa said, “I cannot find a cause that is greater than the healing of the human heart,” and I would have to agree. As Proverbs 4:23 says, “From the heart flows the very issues of life. “

Christmas can generate a wealth of emotions.  For some, there is so much in the way of family and festivities that they are filled with love to overflowing and could not possibly imagine the idea of feeling alone at Christmas.   Then there are those who are in the exact same situation, yet they have a very difficult time relating to family. Even though they may be surrounded by loved ones and the sounds and smells of the season, they are secretly consumed by loneliness.  There are also those who receive little to no attention at all, such as the elderly, the orphans, and the homeless.

I am no Doctor, but I have faced feeling lonely and I understand that it can be brought on by many things: the past (when not dealt with, it can remain as one’s present), the loss of a loved one, abandonment, some kind of seeming personal failure, a broken relationship, and the list goes on and on. These personal challenges can impede a person’s ability to see any life blessing at all. It can also stand in the way of the love of others, because the love of one important person may be missing.  

But what is the answer? How can we help those who cannot get beyond their grief? I have found the remedy in the life of Christ himself and the love of God the Father.

Being the visual person that I am, I began to think about Jesus being born in a manger — in a village, amongst the people. Then it hit me: God sent His son into the world and made a huge statement from the onset of his physical presence on earth. He is a God of the people. Scripture refers to Jesus as, “Immanuel, God with us.” Matthew 1:23

What a beautiful picture – a totally inappropriate setting for childbirth, dirt, barn smells, clear skies adorned by bright stars, and our Jesus there in the midst of it all. He is with us; in our hometowns and in our poverty. Despite the massive size of His love shown on the cross, He is undeniably one who understands rejection. What kind of message would it have been if He had been born and lived in a palace? What kind of message would it have been if He had not dined at tables with sinners, tax collectors and prostitutes? He could have easily been a ruler of pomp and circumstance; a King without any firsthand experience of the life His people live.

Instead, He spent His life reaching for us. Every step of the way, He lived, loved and died with the people. He did not posture Himself as an elitist, demanding luxury and the adoration of those He loved. Instead, He made Himself a man of no reputation.

I don’t know about you, but sometimes my loneliness and discouragement come because I refuse to reach. I remain unaffected by the needs that I know exist in this world, because quite honestly, I am consumed with myself. I do nothing about my emotional and spiritual condition other than whine to God about fixing me. And then in His still small voice, through His Word, comes the answer. Do you see the manger? That is Me reaching into your village, into your home and into your heart. The example of how you must live and the answer to every problem you face can be found in knowing and following the example of my Son. Now you must do the same in order to be filled with the love that you yearn for. But the love I speak of is not the kind you take, but the kind you give.

Indeed, “There is no greater cause than the healing of the human heart” and Jesus gave us the solution: love much! After my Father died, I watched how my Mother dealt with the loss. She reached out, despite her own grieving, and I saw the love that she gave to others, heal her own heart.

I heard Joyce Meyer once say, “If you are in a trial and want to make the devil mad, go help someone.”  I am not in the business of making the devil mad, but it is true, when you face disappointment or hurt, the enemy would love nothing more than to see you lay down in defeat. 

Through the example of Jesus we are taught to reach beyond our circumstances, stature and comforts and to set ourselves amongst the needs of the people. This was His response to heartache. It should be ours too.

Back to the Basics

Hello family, 

This is your horribly un-prolific blogging buddy MJ.  Though I want to write, it clearly has not been something that I have been engaged in as of late.   The discouragement demon has been at war with the creative me and I have felt, well, rather unmotivated. 

I am being a little weird…..but does anyone other than me ever crave creativity to flow and it just stays locked up inside for some reason?  Or when it comes out, it is contrived?  Unoriginal?  Yes, I am sure that there is a clinical answer, there always is.    Honestly, I think the answer for me lies in the word “demands.”  When there are too many, I just shut down……write a CD full of hits, write a book, maintain a blog…..keep up with your social networks…..and do it all well….be someone, make a statement, blow them away.  Help!  I just want to enjoy being me.   

Then comes the wall, the wall of “overwhelmed.”  This is when my rest in the Lord is so very sweet.  He does not care if I do not turn out a masterpiece every moment.  He just wants me to sit with my hand in His knowing that I am loved just as I am.  

Oh, how I desire to be more like Him every moment; unaffected by the demands of mankind and its critical nature and instead tenacious in my desire to care about my Father’s heart above all else.  

If I did this, there would be so much that I would lay down and oh so much more that I would celebrate.  From me would flow the well-spring of life and the walls, built by man (or me), would be nothing but a blink in my day. 

I guess my point is that we just try and strive so much, that in doing so the pure joy and the lovely creative side of us gets a little lost.   Scripture tells us that “All good things come from above” and to “Seek ye first the kingdom of heaven and all things will be added unto you.” 

Once again, I am reminded to get back to the basics…..seek the Lord, seek Him with your whole heart and He will write the words.

Love you all, Mary

A Lamp For Every Corner

I wrote this last year and hope to make this category of my blog somewhat of a devo over time…God is good, His lessons are mighty! 

It is understandably difficult for many of us to accept menial duties for any prolonged period of time, even when we know that the common or even lowly tasks before us come through the hand of God. Many of the Lord’s children labor dutifully and painstakingly for interminably long periods in bleak, dismal and lonely places. They nurse the sick, feed the impoverished, and bring loving care to the disadvantaged. Yet they cast the bright light of God’s love and grace in wretched corners and darkened pathways. And they manage to do all this with joy in their hearts, laughter in their spirits, and determination in their missions, regardless of their seeming insignificance and often with no requirements for compensation or recognition. 

Many corners go unlighted. The message, the angelic chord, the loving touch do not reach these places. The huddled masses, hungry for inspiration, go neglected. Why do we fail to reach these forgotten souls?

We do not want to look into the dark corners. We yearn to boast about all that God is doing in our lives and the obvious favor that WE have received from the Creator (and, of course, from man). We seek crowds to please, audiences jumping to their feet in applause and immediate gratification. When we receive it, we believe we have carried the message and fulfilled our missions. But the dark corners still remain unlighted. 

When I attended my first Inspirational Country Music Week and awards show in 2005, my heart and mind were full of anticipation and excitement. That year, the show was at the historic Ryman auditorium in Nashville, and like a child at Disneyland, I was awestruck. Deep down inside, I had long dreamed of being one of those artists on the stage, singin’ on TV for Jesus!

But the Lord clearly had a different plan for me, and more importantly, for my character. Object lesson after object lesson was presented as I embarked on this path known as “music ministry.”

Several years before that first ICM week, the Lord had placed me on a worship team at a mega church, where we led the congregation in worship each weekend. Never did we tell anyone our names from the stage. Drawing any attention to individual performers was verboten among that particular congregation of worshippers. Their devotion was totally focused on Jesus. 

In retrospect, those were some of the most precious times of my ministry. I had no agenda. At the same time, a struggle had begun deep with in me between selfishness and selflessness. I often wondered if a line was drawn somewhere in the sand that would tell me if I was crossing from truly abandoned, selfless service to Christ and moving into a realm of selfish ambition and pridefulness.

In His faithfulness, God led me through door after door. Sometimes the stages were large; sometimes tiny. In embarrassing honesty, I often dreaded the small settings where I would miss the grandeur of a big stage, great sound and dynamic lighting. It was easy to boast when I had a wealth of prestigious engagements, but I cringed inside when I was forced to mention events that were less than notable.

I began to experience a practice of “counting” that sometimes occurs among ministry professionals. How many people were there? How many accepted Jesus? How many CDs did I sell? How big was the offering? And the counting continued.  My little bubble of serving for the sheer sake of artistry and love burst with a loud POW! 

During one particular season of discouragement, I received an unexpected note from a friend. In it were these words:  “When John was in the wilderness, he preached every day, even when no one was there, yet God brought the people to the wilderness to hear the message. This now I pray for you: sing wherever you find yourself and light up with passion for the loving Savior of your soul. No matter what, whether people come to the wilderness to hear you or He places you on the greatest stage, sing because of love.” 

Whether our audience involves one or five thousand, it is important for us to keep our perspective and realize that we have been destined by our Creator to fulfill roles that have an eternal impact and reach far beyond anything we can measure.

God will place each of us exactly where He wants us at the right time and place. Although we may believe that we can help speed up the process, we will inevitably find that conditions will not be ideal until our Lord paves the way for our ministries.

You are precious and beloved by the Lord. Remember to trust the hand of the Creator and to be faithful in your unique assignment. This following passage from F.B Meyer’s The Directory Of The Devout Life is one that I pass on to my friends from time to time. I pray that it ministers to you as it has to me. 

“With infinite care and forethought, God has chosen the very place in which you can do your best work for the world. You may be lonely, but you have no more right to complain than the lamp has, which has been placed in a niche to illuminate a dark landing or a flight of dangerous stone steps. The Master of the house may have put you in a very small corner, and on a very humble stand; but it is enough if it be His blessed will.  Some day He will pass by, and you shall light His steps as He goes forth to seek and save that which is lost; or you shall kindle some great light that shall shine like a beacon over the storm-swept ocean. Thus the obscure Andrew was the means of igniting his brother Peter, when he brought him to Jesus.”

Oldies but goodies….

The band and I led worship at The Church of Rancho Bernardo this last weekend. We ended up doing some older worship songs and the congregation was right there with us. It goes to show you that the familiar is always important when leading worship. Instead of tring to figure out the songs, they get lost in the worship. It was lovely.

On top of the sweet time of worship, the band was also brilliant. They brought God their offering of music and did it with excellence.

We ended the service by doing “I’m Not Willing” which is an original song Gary and I wrote about staying the course in your marriage. It is not a quitter’s song, it is for those who stop in the midst of the fight and say, “No, we can do better than this”.

Ok then, just a little snippet from this last weekend. I am so grateful that God still allows me to sing for Him!

Blessings always, Mary